blog reading

The kids are sleeping. The hubby is out. I'm here and I decided to go blog reading. I have come across some really entertaining blogs and then of course, the really boring, I could fall asleep blogs. I have decided that I don't want to be the "boring blog writer" I want to keep you interested in reading what I have to say.
I LOVE to write and as much as I love updating my family/friends on the kids, I'm also going to use this site as my time to write. I'm not even sure who follows along, honestly but this blog is going to tell you a little about me first! My inner me. :)
I'm confident.
I'm straight to the point.
It's hard for you to offend me, but very easy for me to offend you.
I'm judged.
I judge. Hard not too, but we are only human.
I'm a great listener.
I'm straight forward.
I know what I want when I want it.
I speak from my heart and that gets me in trouble.
I'm funny.
I'm random.
I'm random.
I'm definitely random!
This blog in itself is pretty random but that's just me. Why not come to a place where you can free your mind without having to....well, never mind you still have to worry sometimes, but that's just life. Life is the biggest Wart. You can only live your life the way YOU want to live your life. When you want change, YOU must first change and then everything around you will change as well. Those are great words of wisdom, spoken to me from a close friend. I follow words and guidelines pretty closely sometimes, even when least expected. I try to live a simple and easy life and that's impossible! Nothing is simple and easy when you are a mother. Even as a wife. Nothing is ever going to be simple and I'm fine with that. The problem with me, is that I'm the most stubborn person you will ever meet. I have been told this my whole life and therefore, when you put 2 stubborn people in a room We're not always going to paint a pretty picture. The problem with me, is that I see people how I want them to be and when they don't live up to my expectations I am easy to let down. I was told this by a counselor a few years back and she's absolutely right. I'm not afraid to admit that I have problems. As long as you show me respect and I show you respect we are good. The minute I'm disrespected, I have a problem with that, I really do. I am one that can NOT hold onto a grudge. (which is a great thing) However, if I'm betrayed on more then one occasion, it becomes upsetting to me and then come the trust issues. It's just nature. I guess. When it's a repeated trust issue, I usually just drop those kind of people out of my life because I keep telling myself I don't have time for it. I really don't. Out of nowhere, when I would least expect it, the one person who I let hurt me and let me down, comes back into my life and I can't help but to talk to them b/c (it goes along with the whole I see people how I want them to be) I love them and they are family.
I wish my dad and I had the relationship that I had longed for from him. For years, I wished this. When it never happened, I promised myself that I would not allow him into my life ever again and that I would take my step dad's last name. However, I never wanted to let my dad down. I knew he loved and cared for me, but was probably scared and didn't know how to show it. Understandable. I would get so mad b/c he would never call me and would hardly have anything to do with us and then years and years later, realized. I'm the same way. I could have just as easily picked up that phone and called him. I could have done so much being a daughter and I didn't. I still don't call. It's not b/c I don't want to, it's b/c I don't know what to really talk about. I over analyze the situation and I should really stop doing that. I love my dad. I love my step mom and I love my half brothers. I wish I took that time out of my day to tell them.
Life is hard but it's only b/c we make it THAT much harder! I am a mommy of 3 and I have friends who have 1 or 2 and I invite them to go places with me and they won't b/c they are so tired and it's such a hassle to take the kids anywhere and yada yada yada.... excuse after excuse, but that's life. LIFE IS HARD. what is so hard about taking your kid to the park with some friends and creating memories.?. I always hear, "I don't know how you do it? How DO YOU DO IT with 3 kids?" this is my answer. "It's the only way I know HOW to do things." I didn't just jump right into motherhood knowing everything. It took time. I got them on schedules right away and they are my kids. It only looks like hard work to those who comment b/c they only see 3 kids. they don't see that I'm raising them. :)
OK.. WHOA this blog was EVERYWHERE. I mean EVERYWHERE and I can tell I'm extremely tired so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead! LOL! Good thing it's only a blog and not an essay or something!